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I have to admit that my knowledge of rappers and rap music is kind of limited. As in, nonexistent. Ever since that guy Kanye West changed his name and became a born-again Nazi, I kind of haven’t paid attention to the genre.

That changed this morning, when I noticed a Twitter trend. The trend was “Not Guilty.” I was intrigued. Was OJ Simpson writing another book? Did some confidant of the Clintons commit “suicide”? I hit the trend button, and to my surprise, it wasn’t about either; it was about a criminal trial in LA Superior Court. The case had just been given to the jury yesterday.

The first “trending tweet” took me to a Rolling Stone article and then another Rolling Stone article about the trial of Daystar Peterson. The defendant’s real name is Daystar Peterson; his rapping stage name is Tory Lanez.

I already didn’t like the guy. Why change your name? His first name is Daystar. He couldn’t go with Daysta or Daystar P? The first iteration would rhyme with gangsta. Right? Anyway, I didn’t like that he changed his name to Tory Lanez. It sounds too much like that Washinton Post nutcase, Taylor Lorenz, so I was already upset that Daystar P was found “not guilty.”

The jury had the case Friday morning for the second day, and they were still deliberating. It turned out that the term trended because a bunch of his fans were lobbying Twitter for a “Not Guilty” verdict; That is how the justice system works.

Chances that the jury members were checking their phones, saw the “Not Guilty” trend, and were changing their minds to fit the trend seemed far-fetched. But I think that is what Daystar’s fans were hoping for.

I read the Rolling Stone articles, both written by Larisha Paul. I read both articles in their entirety because I was fascinated by how poorly she wrote. Here’s an excerpt:

Megan Thee Stallion’s boyfriend of more than two years artist and songwriter Pardison Fontaine has been a staple in the rapper’s inner circle in the lead-up and through the duration of the felony trial against Tony Larez who allegedly shot her during an altercation in July 2020.

Rolling Stone used to have talented writers, like Matt Taibbi. Then Rolling Stone took a turn toward tabloid smears, with “journalism” like the Duke Gang Rape fiction. I think Larisha Paul is what you get when talented writers don’t want to work for your publication.

In any event, the trial of Daystar was interesting, to say the least. Daystar had “allegedly” shot rapper Megan Thee Stallion in the feet during a jealous rage. The prosecution said that following an argument about who was having sex with whom, he pulled out his gun and shot Thee Stallion in the feet while yelling “Dance!” If you aren’t thinking of Marty McFly in “Back to the Future II,” I don’t know what to tell you.

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Daystar’s story was that Thee Stallion’s best friend, Kelsey Harris, had shot at Thee Stallion’s feet because Daystar had revealed that he was having sex with both women. How Harris got his gun in her hand wasn’t explained by Daystar’s lawyer Mr. Mgdesyan.

The trial also featured other fun, courtroom drama. Harris recanted her transcribed statement, in which she identified Daystar the Rapper as the “Dance for me!” shooter. On the stand, she apparently didn’t recall making the statement. Harris is identified as Thee Stallion’s ex-best friend, so they may have had a falling out over Harris’ sudden amnesia.

And during closing, Mr. Mgdesyan talked about Thee Stallion’s sex partners in a bit of rapper name-dropping that didn’t sit well with the prosecutor named Ms. Ta.

The jury began deliberations on Thursday and brought back a guilty verdict on Friday. He was charged with three felonies: discharging a firearm with gross negligence, assault with a semiautomatic firearm, and carrying a loaded, unregistered firearm in a vehicle. Daystar, the soon-to-be-convict, was found guilty of all charges. Daystar could get up to 22 years and, following his release, be deported to his home country of Canada. But, this is California. Gavin Newsom might hire him as Chief of Staff.

Megan Thee Stallion has since recovered and, reportedly, is able to dance without the aid of bullets fired at her feet.

Merry Christmas, everybody!

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