This piece comes to you on Memorial Day, so before we get into Alaska, please take a moment to remember all the people who fell to keep us free. Remember, also, that not all who fell did so immediately. This is their day, and we owe them all more than we can every repay.
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Now, on to some good news: In the wake of the sad case of the Caswell dog kennel deaths, the borough now has a new board that is looking over the rules for such facilities. The task of the new board:
- A new temporary borough advisory board made up of mushers and kennel owners will recommend updates to kennel rules and oversight after 25 dogs were found dead near Caswell Lakes this spring.
- The board will review the borough’s kennel laws, regulations, and enforcement policies and prepare a report recommending updates by mid-December.
- The Mat-Su Assembly unanimously approved the board. Independent and internal investigations into the borough’s handling of the Caswell dog deaths are expected to be released by mid-June, Borough Manager Mike Brown said Tuesday.
This is how these things should be handled. Not by Washington, or even necessarily by the state of Alaska. The borough has assembled some people who actually know what they are talking about to look into this: Mushers, kennel owners, and people who keep and work with dogs. That’s a good thing, and I think we can look forward to some good feedback from these folks.
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Alaska Man score: 5 happy pooches.
Read More: Alaska Man Monday: Sad Case Involving Dogs, and a Dumb Crook
Next, well, Alaska has at least as many dumb crooks and just dumb people as Florida. But in this case, OK, maybe not so much dumb crooks, as just… dumb drunks.
On May 19, 2026, at 8:38 PM, Alaska State Troopers received a report that one male had handcuffed another to a tree in the Tok area. A subsequent response by troopers showed that two intoxicated individuals had a pair of handcuffs and lost the key after one was locked to a tree. No criminal activity was reported.
Now, I honestly don’t want to know what these two drunken goobers were up to, with handcuffs, a tree, and a blood alcohol content matching the entire adult population of Russia halfway through a three-day weekend. Was there some kind of twisted shenanigans going on here? Some sort of… Well, never mind. Never ask a question when you already know you don’t want to know the answer.
Alaska Man score: 2.5 moose nuggets. Demerits for wasting the Alaska State Trooper’s time. Upticks for giving us all a chuckle.
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Read More: Alaska Man Monday: Winter Carnivals, Dumb Crooks, and a Seal Finds a Home
Finally, for Memorial Day, here’s a heartwarming piece: 400 Airborne soldiers of the 11th Airborne Division, right here in the Great Land, honored their fallen brethren by summitting Gold Star Peak. Gold Star Peak Inc., a nonprofit that maintains the trails and the memorials at the top of the 4,100-foot peak, invites the soldiers of the 11th to do this every year. The peak, in case you haven’t already worked that out, is named for Gold Star families, who have lost a family member in combat or during their service.
Well done. Airborne!
Alaska Man score: All the moose nuggets there are. Hooah!
Now, then, the other day, I had some thoughts about smart people. Watch:
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