Christmas may be King of the West, but in South Korea this week, they’ve put the “holla” in “holiday.” More than 51 million citizens of the East Asian republic are surely celebrating the government’s yuletide yank: Leaders have finally lifted the ban on sex dolls.

For those wanting an inanimate, amorous object for Christmas, Santa’s come through with a device with whom/which they can act out “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.” Indeed, for those aching for years for holiday hugs from an inflated inorganic form, it’s the First No “L” — for “Not Living.”

From the New York Post:

In a statement released Monday, the Korea Customs Service said it would implement a revised policy on life-size adult sex dolls.

While there are no formal laws banning imported sex dolls, thousands of the items were previously seized by customs officers citing a clause forbidding imported products that “harm the country’s beautiful traditions and public morals.”

Like batteries for randy robots, court conflicts were required:

Importers subsequently took several cases to court, where it was determined that the dolls are used in private spaces and thus do not undermine public dignity.

Importation of some dolls will still be barred — those resembling specific people or the underaged remain restricted.

One erotic accessories bigwig lamented the lateness of the new legal allowance:

Lee Sang-jin, the former head of one of an online outlet for sex doll importer Carenshare Co., called the decision “reasonable” but a “bit late” after the government allegedly wasted taxpayer funds fighting the importers’ lawsuits in court.

“We thought our people’s rights to seek happiness and use [sex dolls] in their private lives have been restricted by the state,” he explained, stating that sex dolls made in South Korea are generally of interior to those manufactured abroad.

“There are various types of people who use [sex dolls],” he added, “including those who are sexually alienated or those who need them for artistic purposes.”

That sort of artistry seems to be surging — after all, we’re no longer an in-person planet. If the average individual would rather argue with a nameless, faceless stranger online, why wouldn’t they also prefer to cuddle up with someonething just as irrelevant?

We’re living in high-tech times:

Blue Christmas: Pansexual Kazakstani Bodybuilder’s Wife May Be Stuck in the Shop for Repairs

From the International Journal of Social Robotics: Sex Robots Should be Programmed to Reject Their Owners in Order to Fight Rape Culture

South Korean Soccer Team Apologizes After Being Accused of Filling Empty Seats with Sex Dolls

Madly-in-Love Man Marries a Hologram, but Their Tale Turns Terminal as the Service Provider Pulls the Plug

Wife Buys Husband $2K Sex Doll to Look Like Her, Then Spends $11K to Look Like It

Back to South Korea, though the sexy situation comes courtesy of December 26th, likely loads of stocking stuffers are belatedly having themselves a Merry Little Christmas.

The holidays mean something different to everyone — Alvin the Chipmunk simply hankers for his hula hoop; doubtlessly, some humans just want their inner tube with artificial eyes. This year more than many others, in South Korea, Christmas is really blowing up. And Christmas is in the air.

The country’s on track for a conspicuously combustible New Year’s. As they wait for the ball to drop, hopefully the only hot things that pop will be their firecrackers — and not their companions.


See more content from me:

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#Throwback Thursday: A Robber’s Master Plan Leaves Him Trapped in a Phone Store ‘Til the Cops Come Calling

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